Hare baba! ou Prá quê ponto?

Pensei em começar o post com a palavra indiana namastê, que significa “o deus que vive em mim saúda o deus que vive em você”. Mas Deus abandonou a criatura que escreveu a bosta daí de baixo… Nesse corpo e nessa mente só existem encostos da pior qualidade…. a coisa tá tão feia mas tão feia que eu emprestei um ectoplasma mesmítico pra ver se melhoram os eflúvios da santa…

Enfim… acabo de receber outro release. Desta vez, é sobre um jornal que lançou a indiana do funk. Ok, não entendi o que as palavras jornal, indiana e funk fazem juntas numa mesma frase, com direito a correlação ainda por cima. Mas vou relevar o fato. Atentem para a falta de pontuação da… mesma! (Essa frase merece ser assombrada pelo ectoplasma mesmítico!)

A moda indiana tomou conta das ruas e de figurinos de famosos, inspirado [aaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiii… quem é inspirado? A moda ou os figurinos? então, teríamos um inspiradA ou inspiradOS? socooooooorrrooooo…] pela novela global Caminho das Índias, [por que essa vírgula aqui? Não se usa ponto final na novela das oito?] nesta onda surge uma nova personagem [e por que aqui não tem vírgula? cristorreimesalva…] a INDIANA DO FUNK [aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… fujam para as montanhaaaaaaasssssssssss!!!!!!] a bela com descendência [não seria ascendência, não? Vamos ter uma seção de tio Antônio especial hoje…] indiana tem 20 anos e [se até aqui a pontuação não foi das mais brilhantes, a lamparina apagou-se de vez para lá. Reparem:] medidas perfeitas [faltou os dois pontos] altura [idem] 1,70 [o quê? Metros? Jardas? Polegadas? pés?], peso: 54 [54 o quê, santa? Xelins? Robalos? Quilos? Aribabas?] , quadril: 95[e que se f#%#$%m as unidades do Sistema Internacional de medidas, né?] , busto: 87 [idem] e cintura: 67 [ibidem].  A personagem já faz apresentações em varias [faltou o acento de várias. Esse não caiu com a reforma ortográfica, não…] casa [AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!] de shows e bailes funks na cidade de São Paulo.

Vou resistir à tentação bairrista de falar viu só o que dá trazer funk pra São Paulo? Até porque a comparação imediata seria com o funk do Rio de Janeiro, o que não iria ajudar em nada meu discurso. Só reparem aí em cima que tem mais observação em azul do que texto em vermelho.

Antes de exorcizar o texto, vamos falar com tio antônio (/Houaiss) sobre as diferenças entre ascendência e descendência (sempre com ésse-cê, por favor! E pare de botar a culpa na reforma ortográfica!)

Descendência
Datação
a1583 cf. FMPin

Acepções
■ substantivo feminino
1    proveniência, baseada em laços de sangue, de um ancestral ou ramo familiar comum
2    série de pessoas que derivou desse mesmo ancestral ou ramo familiar por esse tipo de parentesco; prole, progênie, posteridade
Ex.: deixou numerosa d.

Etimologia
descender + -ência; ver -scend-; f.hist. a1583 decendencia, 1618 descendencia

Sinônimos
ver antonímia de ascendência

Antônimos
ver sinonímia de ascendência

ascendência
Datação
a1663 cf. DA

Acepções
■ substantivo feminino

(…)

4    Derivação: por extensão de sentido.
     linha das gerações anteriores de um indivíduo ou de uma família; proveniência de um grupo social ou de um povo; origem, genealogia
Ex.: seu aspecto físico comprova a a. indígena
(…)

Sinônimos
ancestrais, ancestralidade, antecedentes, antecessores, antepassados, ascendentes, avoengos, avós, maiores, origem, pais, passados, predecessores, procedência, progênie, progenitores, raça; ver tb. sinonímia de autoridade e linhagem

Antônimos
descendência, descendentes, filhos, geração, herdeiros, netos, porvindouros, pósteros, progênie, progenitura, prole, raça, renova, renovo, sóbole, sucessores, vindouros

Ou seja: Se os pais e avós da dita são indianos, ela tem ascendência indiana.

[suspiro] ‘Bora exorcizar os encostos, e trazer um pouco de Deus para a pobre criatura que assassinou o texto:

A moda indiana tomou conta das ruas e de figurinos de famosos-ponto. Com inspiração buscada na novela global Caminho das Índias, nesta onda surge uma nova personagem a INDIANA DO FUNK-ponto. A bela, de ascendência indiana-vírgula, tem 20 anos e medidas perfeitas-dois pontos: 1,70 m de altura, 54 kg, 95 cm de quadril, 87 cm de busto e 67 cm de cintura.  A personagem já faz apresentações em várias casas de shows e bailes funk na cidade de São Paulo.

Agora, sim! Namastê, meu filho, namastê! E cuide direitinho do Deus dentro de você, viu? Ele também tem desgosto quando lê coisa ruim….



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